Marriages of today don’t always assume the ‘happy ever after’ fate like what the olden times had to offer you know. In past times, although married couples had their assorted challenges and hurdles, they still managed to pull through these difficulties and an eventual cooperation reached in making things work no matter how hopeless the situation may be. Almost all problems or challenges faced in marriages are mostly relatable to most marriages in general, but a recent growing canker that seems to be eating deep into the fibers of most marriages of today is the issue of combining pornography and marriage.
Pornography and marriage prior to people’s understanding of it being beneficial to couples who engage in it, is a lie in itself and does not in any way aid or make better the tie that lies between partners. It’s a lie within which couples prefer to live and portray to the entire universe of their living ‘happy ever after’. Pornography in general coveys a negative language and image about marriage no matter ones reasons for doing it in the first place. Most people might initially feel shy in approaching or boldly stating their weakness in practicing this act, but if you ever had any idea of the effect of what you bringing upon your marriage.
TOP FIVE EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY AND MARRIAGE
Combining Pornography and marriage is a sin which can be equated to Adultery! Even though very hard to believe, pornography has its own ways and means in tarnishing the image and outlook of a great relationship shared by partners in a marriage. The thoughts of one when they claim they’re married, yet look at another aside their partner with such lustful desires and aim, centers the issue of pornography around the practicing of the sin ‘Adultery’, which is talked of in the bible. In the book of Matthew 5:28, we are advised on not looking at anybody with lustful intentions for when we do so, it is equated to committing adultery in our hearts. Why should you decide to lust after someone other than the one you’re married to? The more you are carried away with the watching of pornography, you become more prone to drawing yourself away from the connection you and your partner share. Sex does not become an issue of importance to you anymore as you tend to desire more than what you have. In other words, you would prefer to go behind your spouse, cheating on them just so you satisfy that urge for the other person you lust after. There is no denying the fact that pornography in every sense of the word only aims at drawing one into committing quite baseless sins.
- Pornography and marriage steals away that added spice of intimacy in every marriage, once it becomes the habitual norm of any of the partners involved in the marriage at any given point in time. This distance created, often creates a gap of disunity between partners off which may seem insignificant at first instances but when progresses, may diverge into a major set back affecting the relationship between the two. There’s generally this sudden withdrawal to want to be with one’s spouse in view of the fact that one may prefer to be in the company of their ‘pornographic videos’ which to them, yields the best form of pleasure derivation and satisfaction. Now when this happens, those intimate moments mostly shared by both partners in bonding together through lovemaking or any means of married couples solidifying their marriage vows, becomes void. Where then does that place the bibles institution of a man leaving his family and going to be as one with his wife…? Genesis 2:24. Marriage was not just invented as most people claim. It’s a whole institution on its own aimed purposely in bringing together two different people who love each other and have decide to be as one, leading to the taking of vows which must be upheld no matter the challenges faced. In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part…., do you remember when you said these words right in front of God? You may have forgotten, but your conscience must at least remember bits and pieces of some sort I assume…. You’re leading your marriage into a point where it will become very difficult in fixing if even eventually you get to admit to yourself that you’ve been wrong all this while. The harm might already be done!
- Combining pornography and marriage has the ability of spinning diverse web of lies that often grows between partners. It’s virtually an act that encourages lies and nothing more. While many practice this act in marriage, its most usually the best kept secret in many ‘happily assumed homes’. Couples tend to live a lie sleeping close to each other every single night, yet their thoughts seem far off from the ones they married. For the kind of people who find themselves feeling all awkward about the act, most often tend to hide it. But for others who usually find the act agreeable and acceptable to their marriage, there’s that feeling of complacency displayed which makes the whole situation even en more dangerous since it could lead to an eventual break in a marriage… ‘Divorce’.
- Pornography and marriage also creates room for comparison and dissatisfaction mostly arising from partners veering of attention away from their partner’s needs and feelings owing to what is being watched and the desire in wanting to try them out. In simple terms, there arises the sense of wanting to explore and experiment other things and be with other people aside ones known marital partner. The times when love making and intimate moments were of significant importance to you, now become somewhat dead and often boring with your partner. Preference is made in relation to pornographic scenes watched and a subsequent demand for such sexual displays becomes the order of the day.
- Pornography and marriage places the upholding of the sanctity of marriage into utter shame and insignificance. In the era where marriage and its values were much held in high esteem seem to be losing grip in recent times. Practices which do not augur well for the institution is what we see being mostly practiced, and pornography is quite dominant in this case. Vows are not just taken during marital ceremonies for the sake of poking fun at the institution, but they are there to serve a purpose and when this purpose is totally ignored or forsaken, the wrath of God may be caused to come upon one. God in his own infinite wisdom saw that it was no good for man to be alone after creation. So what did he do? He created a helper and mate to assist him. Every man is tasked to be with a wife and must abide and stay with her only. You place your spouse in the dangerous spot of committing adultery, when you decide to shirk your marital duties and responsibilities in marriage….- But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:32). There are no buts, ifs or maybes applicable in this issue. When you marry, it’s an indirect decision taken, simply implying that you as a person have chosen one woman/man out of the thousand that walk over the surface of the earth, and to this effect vow to remain and stay by that persons side no matter what till death do you part. It’s as simple as that! Why should it have to be so hard in keeping to this vow, but rather deciding to violate a decision personally taken? You need to ask yourself if whatever it is you’re doing is really pleasing unto God before you further proceed in ruining your reputation in your marriage. Think about your position of being a Christian and compare this with your indulgence in this sinful act of pornography.
PORNOGRAPHY AND MARRIAGE was written By: Chantelle Iris Nunoo.